Bold Beautiful Perfect

Corianne, Bay St. Louis / Gulf Coast

 

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Today on the blog, enjoy a beautiful essay written by our selected BBP candidate Corianne!

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Life as the “big girl”

13 years ago, I weighed over 350 lbs.

For most of my life I struggled with my weight.  I was always known as the quiet, sweet, “big” girl.  I didn’t really have any boyfriends or any dates to dances.  I had a few friends at school and pretty much stayed to myself.  I remember the little snickers and side comments about my weight.  I tried not to let that get to me, but it was always a struggle.  I never felt pretty.  Luckily, I had two really good friends who saw my true beauty.  I am still lucky to be friends with those girls – over 20 years later.

 

Being skinny didn’t make me feel pretty

When I did my weight lost surgery in 2007, I had all the excitement of being skinny!  The doctor told me I needed to do this for my health, but the media had me wanting to be skinny.  My health was a second factor in my mind.  I was just so excited to finally be a size 12 and not a 28.

Little did I know that skinny doesn’t equal happy.  I didn’t comprehend the inner turmoil that I would wrestle with after the surgery.  Losing weight is great, but the extra skin that comes along with it – not so much.

I lost my weight pretty quickly and I received many compliments.  However, every time I looked in the mirror, I still saw a 350 lb. woman.  How was that possible?

I was depressed.  I would smile politely and thank people for their compliments, but deep down I didn’t see it myself.  I wore lose fitting clothes and wouldn’t dare show my legs or arms.  I was still letting others define my beauty.

 

 

How will my daughter understand her beauty if I don’t model it?

I had my second child Alyssa in 2011.  She was my first girl.  I think that was the wake-up call for me.  She was so beautiful and I wanted her to be able to see herself through my eyes.  I can’t even begin to explain her beauty.  Her smile radiates the room.  She is kind, loving, smart, and deserving of all the wonderful things in this world.  I realized that the only way for her to see her true beauty was to mirror it myself.  She would watch my every move and listen to my every word.  I had to quit body shaming myself, quit getting on the scale, and learn to love and accept myself for who I am today.

 

Every day I work on trying to be a better version of myself than I was the day before.  I push myself in both my career and personal life.  I try to balance being a mom and also taking time to take care of myself.  Some days are good and some days I fail miserably, but I’m always working on it.

What I wish I knew back then

I know something now that I didn’t know a decade ago: I was always beautiful.  You see, you can have a pretty face and not be beautiful.  True beauty comes from your soul.  It’s the way you treat others, your integrity, and most importantly it’s being your most authentic self – no matter what.

 

One of the main reasons I wanted to participate in this project was for my daughter.  She is growing up in a world where the media portrays fake beauty.  I want her to know that ALL women are beautiful – regardless of size, color, or race.  As women, we do not need to compete, but rather uplift one another.  We all wear crowns.

 

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Wow, what a moving story!

Do you struggle to see your own beauty? Our portrait session experiences are designed to reveal how beautiful you truly are.  Get in touch if you are interested in scheduling a photo shoot and pamper session!

 

Much love,

Brandi

Award Winning Portrait Photographer